Covid is still hovering around, but at least I feel a little bit of hope lately. It is summer, the cases decrease, while vaccinations increase day by day. There is still no proper partying possible, but hey… I learned patience is the key. I consider myself pretty lucky, since I received my second shot last week. Let me tell you, both times it was pure pain. After the first time with Astrazeneca, I felt like I got hit by a bulldozer, but multiple times. Last week I received Moderna and same same but not different, fever, headache, from shivering to sweating within minutes… at least I had my parents’ cats watching me like Zeus did with Hercules. People told me, that the reaction to Astrazeneca could indicate how my body would react to the actual disease and honestly if that is true, I’m pretty happy I made it all the way until now without getting it. But to be fair, the appointment itself was probably one of the funniest experiences involving a doctor I have ever had.
Wednesday, one day after our brutal loss against England and my fair amount of drowning the pain in beer, I woke up way too tired and slightly hungover. My appointment was at 14:30, I arrived at the vaccination centre around 14:20, got in line and waited. First checkpoint registration, which was basically just them looking at my email confirmation and giving me a pile of papers I had to fill out. After 5 minutes a doctor came and looked at my certificates of vaccinations.
“Do you have any questions regarding the vaccination? And actually, why did you receive a vaccination in the Netherlands?”
“No not really, thank you! And I studied my bachelors in Nijmegen and traveled to tropical areas in summer.”
“Oh how cool! Did you enjoy it? Let me tell you, all of my experiences made in Holland were insane… Amsterdam, Coffee Shops, Red light district…”
“Yeah, my time was fun and definitely interesting, and pretty accurate you calling it Holland, was it on purpose?”
“What do you mean? Is there a difference between the Netherlands and Holland?”
“For sure, and I would avoid asking this to a Dutch guy, I did, and the reaction wasn’t as nice as I hoped for…”
Someone called the doc.
“Thanks I guess, at least I learned something today… I have to go…” he said and walked off.
Me still waiting in line for one of the guards to come and bring me to the next doctor. Most of the guards were women, all in an age they could have been my mums. One by one they came and picked up the people in front of me until there was nobody left but me. One of them looked at me, asking me whether I already got my educational talk and whether I’m ready to receive my vaccination. I smiled and said yes.
Another guard looked at me, looked at the other guard and said: “Ah Heike, come on, just take a look at him isn’t it obvious he received his educational talk already years ago?”
I looked back at her and replied, “thank you for saying it, I mean I’m 26, if my parents didn’t do it long ago, I think they would be preeeettyyyy bad parents.”
We all started laughing.
One of the doctors told me to follow her in one of the cabins.
She looked at me… “Do you have any questions?”
“Honestly not really” I replied.
“But that’s boring, I want to answer you questions.”
“Ok, what’s your shoe size?”
She glanced up looking a little confused, “38, why?”
“Well, you wanted me to ask questions, no?”
“Regarding covid I meant.”
“Aaaaah, my bad, then what the difference between a Vector and a mRNA vaccination”
She started to elaborate on the topic, but honestly, I didn’t really listen since we are exposed to this kind of information since last year November.
“Does that answer your question?”
“Yes, thank you, and what do you think is better?”
Same procedure as last question… We played this game for a couple of minutes and my questions became increasingly ridiculous. She started noticing that I was not serious anymore and began to answer questions in funny ways, too.
She finished her last explanation by asking me “do you have any other questions?”
“Yes! One, can I choose which arm?”
“Yes! If you want, you could also get it in your butt.”
“Really?” I stood up, started to slowly pull my pants down. She looked at me pretty stunned and stuttered,
“Are you sure? You won’t be able to sit tomorrow!”
“Yeeeees, I prefer laying anyways…”
She seemed to freak out a little and basically yelled “REAAALLYY?
I started laughing so hard I almost started crying out of joy. I shook my head, said “no” and pulled my pants up again. “The left arm, please.”
She bursted out laughing. After a few seconds she took the syringe and said “It’s going to feel like someone punched your arm.”
I replied “Maybe it is better you punched my other arm then…”
She nodded “No no, I’m not into violence…”
“AHA! But slamming a syringe in my arm is not violence for you?
“Well, there you got me, I have to think about that” she answered winking.
2 Minutes later, I was done and about to leave the cabin.
She looked at me one last time and said “Thank you! That was the funniest appointment I have had since the pandemic.”
I smiled and responded “I agree, thank you, but I am a little disappointment that I’m made it only to the funniest one since the pandemic and not all time…”
6 hours later the fun was over, the wrecking balls arrived and finally I understood what Miley Cyrus meant back then…